A very interesting read. Thank you. And a curious development as well, given your fairly recent purchase of the house. But. And I will frame this 'but' with some context - I too have given up all, a number of times, and travelled freely with only what I could carry. And have settled into a purchased house here and there along the way as well, including my current status here in France. There are no hard and fast rules. But (there it is again) there are recognitions. And especially and more importantly solutions. There are always solutions, you just have to find what is right for you.
I am not a minimalist, but I recognise that things accumulate and cost. And that requires a level of realisation that you have to make money. And I wonder if it is the having to to sustain the lifestyle that is more binding, not the things or their consequent costs. I prefer to live simply, to make do, to repurpose, etc blablabla. But that is what is important to me, when I am stationary. After a few moments of stress in owning (or paying) for too much, I gave it all up to travel and then stay put again. Re-cycle.
I think I have finally cracked it. But (that annoying word) I am not sure I can truly explain, though I would like to. I discovered I used to go with what was expected, rather than what I wanted. You mentioned having to buy a car in example. Really? Could you have made do with a scooter and hiring a car when you needed? (As I have no idea how isolated you are, these could be rhetorical questions.) Why a hybrid? Why not a scooter? Why not a clanger of a car? I have gone through 3 cars here in France in the last year - certainly valuable money spent, and very real lessons learned. Not to mention French paperwork! And finally, fingers crossed, I am good with what I have. But it was a journey of solutions. I needed a car - but I didn't really think through what was best for me. And it took 3 go's to discover this. And now, yes I pay for my car, but it doesn't inflict any emotion on me.
Anyway I ramble, I think it is hard to separate expectations from what is truly needed - down to the very very simple things. Being intentional certainly helps. Being aware that things don't matter really does. But getting the head to realise that, well, that is another matter. And takes time. Bonne chance.
So well put. It’s all trail and error. Except there’s no error, it’s all just life. So maybe it’s just trial and recognitions as you put it. Thanks for sharing!
Can totally relate. I used to dream of being rich enough to build a huge home with a games room, half indoor/half outdoor pool, numerous bedrooms and bathrooms and of course big party-worthy grounds! Then I looked around my pokey little rented London flat and realised I couldn’t even keep that clean and maintained, so I ditched that idea. Now many years later, having had to maintain 3 different bricks and mortar businesses along the way, I’m converting a bus into a home. It will still be a possession I need to care for and maintain but I love the idea of tiny living and tiny living on wheels is even more freedom!
P.S. All cars get scratched, buy old second hand cars and drive them till they die. You will never care about the odd scrape and scratch!
A burden shared, dude! Society accepts that you have to pay for school to get a good job as it's thought of an investment in a new chapter. So why does society make us feel guilty for applying the same principle to our personal evolution? Our needs change! And that's a part of life! What was once a pleasure can become a burden. For me monotonous routine becomes a burden. We have the right to change our objects, our values, and our routines without apology, trading things like the maintenance of it all for new growth or new pleasures. We should be allowed (and encouraged) to edit the script of our lives however (and whenever) we see fit.
Nathaniel, I really appreciated this reflection... I think I've always had the same aspirations as you to travel simply and creatively, lovingly through this world, without taking on burdens of debt and belongings that require so much time and care and repair.. at 78, I live in a small, sweet house in San Francisco with a sweet yard, etc, all the stuff.. and yeah, it's SO MUCH stuff... your reflection was deep and thought-provoking. I totally get what you're saying. The Dilemma!
Wishing you all the best in your ongoing sorting it out. Loved your latest video too! Thank you for these gifts you create and offer us.
Nathaniel, you’ve captured the hidden tax of ownership that most of us don’t calculate until we’re already carrying it. IMO, traveling lighter isn’t about minimalism, it’s about reclaiming the energy to actually live. 🌱
Money is one of the most interesting topics because everyone is self-taught and the lessons all come at different times and in different ways for all of us! I love hearing people's perspectives and stories around it.
I have had a similar realization in how there are always ancilliary costs to things, but I call it "insurance for the thing". There's the thing, and then there's always insurance for the thing.
When I was younger that would always annoy me as I never expected the extra part and I always had just enough for the thing and not enough to protect it. Over the years, I've come to understand that anything of value is worth protecting and worth investing in wholeheartedly. Money is a reflection of our values, and in some ways the "insurance for the thing" is almost affirming that we really care about that thing.
In my late thirties I brought a house, a weather board on a small block in a nice enough sleepy suburb. I was pressured into it by family and society; I should buy my own house and have it paid off and have stability for retirement. In the first couple of years I dutifully brought nice furniture and plates, cutlery, glasses for a table of 8. I hoped to have dinner parties. But it took so much work and energy not just to pay the mortgage but to keep up with the maintenance - painting, gardening, dusting, bills, replacing appliances that break every 10-15 years. Now 15 years later, those dinner parties rarely happened, I’m drowning in dust & stuff that I don’t use and I just want out of here. I’ve learnt that life comes in stages of 7-10 years and I’m well overdue going on my next adventure. Feeling stuck == burnout. And burnout == isolation. So now I have health problems to fix before I’m truly free. I’m working on climbing out of this pit. I’m trying to be very intentional about the commitments I make. I’m trying to clean up my life. I hope to travel more, to create art, and to make new friends.
I see this a lot. People think I'm crazy to rent a cheap apartment instead of buying a house but honestly buying would cost twice as much as I'm spending now and come with the cost of time to work more to pay that. I see coworkers losing 300k in equity in their homes and locked into them now because they could never sell them for what they still owe on it and working 80 hrs a week to afford it. I take holidays and go on trips multiple times a year I don't have to work overtime but have the option if i want to buy something extra. I'm still paying into my retirement and investments and still have time to pursue my art. At one point having that big house, fancy cars, a closet full of Louis vuitton was what I thought I wanted but then we had a wildfire and I had 5 mins to pack what was important. And it was only a small backpack of things. None of the other stuff mattered but having my family and friends around me safe was priceless. Working less affords more time with them. Funny side note I only packed socks and underwear and the only thing I could get the first few days was a very revealing Hawaiian dress and bright orange running shoes, ugliest shoes you'd ever see but comfortable as a cloud lol I looked ridiculous but I was happy. I still have those ugly shoes. From that day on I started measuring in time cost instead of money cost. I could afford something but what is the time input going to be?
as long-term (free) subscriber on Youtube and here it seems like you´re reaching the next make-or-break point with your home. The majority of the hard work is done and it seems to me that your mentality of being more of a builder/creator but not a maintainer kicks in now. You can be very proud of what you´ve build as a home base. Your apartment in Paris was beautiful, but this property at the country side is on whole new level.
The question with a builder mentality is: What are you building this for? Yourself in 1 year? 10 years? A lifetime? The family you might want to start in the future? Do really want to life alone on the long run or with a group of like-minded people?
I think to gain more bandwidth for creating living a minimalist/essentialist lifestyle concerning possessions is just one side of the coin.
The other side is more like a creative mindset issue. What can I automate/outsource/simplify to have more bandwidth for creating? Maybe you don´t mind eating the same thing for lunch every day, so meal prep might be something worth trying out. Maybe some parts of tedious digital admin work could be outsourced to an AI or whatever... The opportunities are limitless.
The last thing I want to mention is the classical reframing shift. Your to-do list might feel overwhelming, but if most aligns with what´s most important to your inner world you might still feel excited.
As life is always a trade-off between different opportunities and restrains it.
I liked that you mentioned the example of getting a dog as well, because it's something we often don’t put much thought into. I don't have a dog, but I have a cat for a few months now. It wasn’t really my choice - living abroad, I also wanted to remain free of responsibilities, to do whatever, whenever. But she lived outside my apartment and got hit by a car, so I took her in during her recovery and couldn't just put her back outside, facing the same risk again.
I would do anything for her (including considering getting a second cat so she can have a play buddy). But the financial costs with the vet have been huge, on top of the emotional cost of constant anxiety and worry. And she’s not even the kind of cat who likes to cuddle or cozy up with me on the couch, so I’m not really getting much back from this relationship. 😅
I know that my 80-year-old self won’t regret keeping her and taking care of her, but it is a long-term commitment and a “possession” you can’t just imagine getting rid of. I’m not sure what my point is... maybe just that sometimes, it's not you but life that ties you to responsibilities you didn't plan for and they can feel heavy and inconvenient, but they also anchor you and force you to show up in new ways.
In my culture they say that wealth is not a gift, but a test. Wealth can be a gift -- but only if one is able to live with inner peace while having nothing. I, like many people, dream of being rich. And one day, I will be. But I always day dream about what kind of house I'll have, what I'll do with all that money -- and I've come to the same conclusion as you -- having more things creates more burden in life, not less of it. Ideally, I'd love to have the money to build and create the things I want, to see the places I want to see, and help the people I want to help. But after that, I don't think my life will be better having to worry about gas costs for my private jet and a faulty irrigation system in my third beach house. Sounds like a nightmare lol.
I loved it. I understand what you're saying, Nathaniel. Life isn't just about accumulating more possessions; sometimes we forget to think thoroughly about the "cost" of keeping those things. I would love to have nice furniture and decor for my place, but the thought of moving stops me from getting them.
I also have a bunch of clothes that I barely wear! This is something to consider, and maybe it's time to be more conscious about what we truly want and need.
A very interesting read. Thank you. And a curious development as well, given your fairly recent purchase of the house. But. And I will frame this 'but' with some context - I too have given up all, a number of times, and travelled freely with only what I could carry. And have settled into a purchased house here and there along the way as well, including my current status here in France. There are no hard and fast rules. But (there it is again) there are recognitions. And especially and more importantly solutions. There are always solutions, you just have to find what is right for you.
I am not a minimalist, but I recognise that things accumulate and cost. And that requires a level of realisation that you have to make money. And I wonder if it is the having to to sustain the lifestyle that is more binding, not the things or their consequent costs. I prefer to live simply, to make do, to repurpose, etc blablabla. But that is what is important to me, when I am stationary. After a few moments of stress in owning (or paying) for too much, I gave it all up to travel and then stay put again. Re-cycle.
I think I have finally cracked it. But (that annoying word) I am not sure I can truly explain, though I would like to. I discovered I used to go with what was expected, rather than what I wanted. You mentioned having to buy a car in example. Really? Could you have made do with a scooter and hiring a car when you needed? (As I have no idea how isolated you are, these could be rhetorical questions.) Why a hybrid? Why not a scooter? Why not a clanger of a car? I have gone through 3 cars here in France in the last year - certainly valuable money spent, and very real lessons learned. Not to mention French paperwork! And finally, fingers crossed, I am good with what I have. But it was a journey of solutions. I needed a car - but I didn't really think through what was best for me. And it took 3 go's to discover this. And now, yes I pay for my car, but it doesn't inflict any emotion on me.
Anyway I ramble, I think it is hard to separate expectations from what is truly needed - down to the very very simple things. Being intentional certainly helps. Being aware that things don't matter really does. But getting the head to realise that, well, that is another matter. And takes time. Bonne chance.
So well put. It’s all trail and error. Except there’s no error, it’s all just life. So maybe it’s just trial and recognitions as you put it. Thanks for sharing!
Can totally relate. I used to dream of being rich enough to build a huge home with a games room, half indoor/half outdoor pool, numerous bedrooms and bathrooms and of course big party-worthy grounds! Then I looked around my pokey little rented London flat and realised I couldn’t even keep that clean and maintained, so I ditched that idea. Now many years later, having had to maintain 3 different bricks and mortar businesses along the way, I’m converting a bus into a home. It will still be a possession I need to care for and maintain but I love the idea of tiny living and tiny living on wheels is even more freedom!
P.S. All cars get scratched, buy old second hand cars and drive them till they die. You will never care about the odd scrape and scratch!
A burden shared, dude! Society accepts that you have to pay for school to get a good job as it's thought of an investment in a new chapter. So why does society make us feel guilty for applying the same principle to our personal evolution? Our needs change! And that's a part of life! What was once a pleasure can become a burden. For me monotonous routine becomes a burden. We have the right to change our objects, our values, and our routines without apology, trading things like the maintenance of it all for new growth or new pleasures. We should be allowed (and encouraged) to edit the script of our lives however (and whenever) we see fit.
Agreed!!
Nathaniel, I really appreciated this reflection... I think I've always had the same aspirations as you to travel simply and creatively, lovingly through this world, without taking on burdens of debt and belongings that require so much time and care and repair.. at 78, I live in a small, sweet house in San Francisco with a sweet yard, etc, all the stuff.. and yeah, it's SO MUCH stuff... your reflection was deep and thought-provoking. I totally get what you're saying. The Dilemma!
Wishing you all the best in your ongoing sorting it out. Loved your latest video too! Thank you for these gifts you create and offer us.
Really loved this one
Nathaniel, you’ve captured the hidden tax of ownership that most of us don’t calculate until we’re already carrying it. IMO, traveling lighter isn’t about minimalism, it’s about reclaiming the energy to actually live. 🌱
Money is one of the most interesting topics because everyone is self-taught and the lessons all come at different times and in different ways for all of us! I love hearing people's perspectives and stories around it.
I have had a similar realization in how there are always ancilliary costs to things, but I call it "insurance for the thing". There's the thing, and then there's always insurance for the thing.
When I was younger that would always annoy me as I never expected the extra part and I always had just enough for the thing and not enough to protect it. Over the years, I've come to understand that anything of value is worth protecting and worth investing in wholeheartedly. Money is a reflection of our values, and in some ways the "insurance for the thing" is almost affirming that we really care about that thing.
Thanks for sharing :)
Such a wonderful reflection. I love your writing, and enjoyed the audio version
even more.
Really good to see that framed photo you took in Barcelona in the background. Really personal to me.
That’s one thing I do not want to get rid of. I am curious as to why it is personal to you?
In my late thirties I brought a house, a weather board on a small block in a nice enough sleepy suburb. I was pressured into it by family and society; I should buy my own house and have it paid off and have stability for retirement. In the first couple of years I dutifully brought nice furniture and plates, cutlery, glasses for a table of 8. I hoped to have dinner parties. But it took so much work and energy not just to pay the mortgage but to keep up with the maintenance - painting, gardening, dusting, bills, replacing appliances that break every 10-15 years. Now 15 years later, those dinner parties rarely happened, I’m drowning in dust & stuff that I don’t use and I just want out of here. I’ve learnt that life comes in stages of 7-10 years and I’m well overdue going on my next adventure. Feeling stuck == burnout. And burnout == isolation. So now I have health problems to fix before I’m truly free. I’m working on climbing out of this pit. I’m trying to be very intentional about the commitments I make. I’m trying to clean up my life. I hope to travel more, to create art, and to make new friends.
One needs to factor in the reward as well. In my experience it's hard know exactly what getting something will give until I actually have it.
So it's not enough to just not get stuff, I need to get things, big and small, in order to calculate the true sum so that I know what to keep and not.
With some things, the rewards are so great, I would never want to be without them.
Either way,
"The things you own, end up owning you."
- Tyler
I see this a lot. People think I'm crazy to rent a cheap apartment instead of buying a house but honestly buying would cost twice as much as I'm spending now and come with the cost of time to work more to pay that. I see coworkers losing 300k in equity in their homes and locked into them now because they could never sell them for what they still owe on it and working 80 hrs a week to afford it. I take holidays and go on trips multiple times a year I don't have to work overtime but have the option if i want to buy something extra. I'm still paying into my retirement and investments and still have time to pursue my art. At one point having that big house, fancy cars, a closet full of Louis vuitton was what I thought I wanted but then we had a wildfire and I had 5 mins to pack what was important. And it was only a small backpack of things. None of the other stuff mattered but having my family and friends around me safe was priceless. Working less affords more time with them. Funny side note I only packed socks and underwear and the only thing I could get the first few days was a very revealing Hawaiian dress and bright orange running shoes, ugliest shoes you'd ever see but comfortable as a cloud lol I looked ridiculous but I was happy. I still have those ugly shoes. From that day on I started measuring in time cost instead of money cost. I could afford something but what is the time input going to be?
Hi Nathanial,
as long-term (free) subscriber on Youtube and here it seems like you´re reaching the next make-or-break point with your home. The majority of the hard work is done and it seems to me that your mentality of being more of a builder/creator but not a maintainer kicks in now. You can be very proud of what you´ve build as a home base. Your apartment in Paris was beautiful, but this property at the country side is on whole new level.
The question with a builder mentality is: What are you building this for? Yourself in 1 year? 10 years? A lifetime? The family you might want to start in the future? Do really want to life alone on the long run or with a group of like-minded people?
I think to gain more bandwidth for creating living a minimalist/essentialist lifestyle concerning possessions is just one side of the coin.
The other side is more like a creative mindset issue. What can I automate/outsource/simplify to have more bandwidth for creating? Maybe you don´t mind eating the same thing for lunch every day, so meal prep might be something worth trying out. Maybe some parts of tedious digital admin work could be outsourced to an AI or whatever... The opportunities are limitless.
The last thing I want to mention is the classical reframing shift. Your to-do list might feel overwhelming, but if most aligns with what´s most important to your inner world you might still feel excited.
As life is always a trade-off between different opportunities and restrains it.
I hope these rambles are not totally useless,
Jule
I liked that you mentioned the example of getting a dog as well, because it's something we often don’t put much thought into. I don't have a dog, but I have a cat for a few months now. It wasn’t really my choice - living abroad, I also wanted to remain free of responsibilities, to do whatever, whenever. But she lived outside my apartment and got hit by a car, so I took her in during her recovery and couldn't just put her back outside, facing the same risk again.
I would do anything for her (including considering getting a second cat so she can have a play buddy). But the financial costs with the vet have been huge, on top of the emotional cost of constant anxiety and worry. And she’s not even the kind of cat who likes to cuddle or cozy up with me on the couch, so I’m not really getting much back from this relationship. 😅
I know that my 80-year-old self won’t regret keeping her and taking care of her, but it is a long-term commitment and a “possession” you can’t just imagine getting rid of. I’m not sure what my point is... maybe just that sometimes, it's not you but life that ties you to responsibilities you didn't plan for and they can feel heavy and inconvenient, but they also anchor you and force you to show up in new ways.
In my culture they say that wealth is not a gift, but a test. Wealth can be a gift -- but only if one is able to live with inner peace while having nothing. I, like many people, dream of being rich. And one day, I will be. But I always day dream about what kind of house I'll have, what I'll do with all that money -- and I've come to the same conclusion as you -- having more things creates more burden in life, not less of it. Ideally, I'd love to have the money to build and create the things I want, to see the places I want to see, and help the people I want to help. But after that, I don't think my life will be better having to worry about gas costs for my private jet and a faulty irrigation system in my third beach house. Sounds like a nightmare lol.
I loved it. I understand what you're saying, Nathaniel. Life isn't just about accumulating more possessions; sometimes we forget to think thoroughly about the "cost" of keeping those things. I would love to have nice furniture and decor for my place, but the thought of moving stops me from getting them.
I also have a bunch of clothes that I barely wear! This is something to consider, and maybe it's time to be more conscious about what we truly want and need.