It is Never Too Late to Revive a Childhood Dream

The time has come

Housekeeping: Info for the next live zoom hangout is at the bottom of this post.

Amsterdam, 2021

I wrote this listening to this.

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Hi there folks,

There is no essay for you this week. Instead, I come bearing news of seismic importance.

First a little bit of context: I have been alive for 10,123 days. Next month will mark the 10-year anniversary of the creation of my YouTube channel. It was 7 summers ago that I became obsessed with the idea that I was going to make making things what I do for a living. I had to find the lock, break the lock and walk through that door. I remembering journaling with a vengeance and going on many very long walks. Something was brewing.

And then I did it (with your help of course). We don’t have to rehash the events of the last 7 years but it’s fair to say it has been a wild ride.

I find myself in the opening salvo of summer of 2025 desiring a new challenge. There is an opening in my life, an unusual amount of space to refocus on what I consider to be the one childhood dream I have yet to realize.

Is it that time? Well, I can’t know unless I get to work. So, I booked a one way train to Amsterdam, where I am now. Last night I slept in a very old apartment that I am subletting with terribly ugly green carpet and I love it.

I woke up at 7:58am this morning, day one of my new regime where I write everyday. I am seated at a coffee shop (of the coffee variety, not the weed variety, I can’t be faffing about) with large windows. Directly in front of me are the classic and oh-so charming brick facades of Dutch architecture. Unusually and sometimes absurdly tall people are seated outside or zipping by on bikes. 45 degrees to my right is the nearest canal because this is Amsterdam and 45 degrees to my left is scaffolding because this is Europe.

I am writing everyday that I am here because the time has come that I rally the troops and give the infamous book that I must write another go. Yes, I said it. I know you’re not supposed to announce this kind of thing. Oh well, I just did.

I feel it in my bones. I cannot guarantee victory (no one can) but I owe it to myself to keep picking myself up and trying again until I pull it off. The last attempt was so disastrous it was like my own personal Battle of Cannae. But don’t forget that it was still the Romans that won that war.

It would be inaccurate to say I’m not scared. What am I about to embark on? Another huge mountain to climb? I feel like I’m already struggling with the current mountain I’m on of figuring out life in the countryside. Or maybe these endeavors actually go well together and the process of writing this book will bring the clarity and catharsis. that I am looking for.

I know it will not be easy. I cannot let that deter me.

You can’t wait for the perfect conditions to come, eventually you just gotta do it. You could make the argument that I have never been better prepared. Over the last 8 months, you have watched me train in the form of these essays. I just added it all up and learned that that means I wrote and published more than 22,000 words. Not bad. It’s a start. I saw how through repetition, it became much easier to write a 1,000 word essay, and the 2,000.

Now it is time to take the next big leap. I hope you understand that you’re on this journey with me. You’re witnessing this unfold in real time. I hope you understand that I am deeply in your debt, all of you. You make this whole process so much more fun, exciting and dynamic. Without you, I would just be speaking into the void.

So, I just wanted to let you know. And next week the essays here on Substack will resume.

However, if you’re interested in more, if you want to see snippets of what’s cooking in the background, if you want to see this thing come to life in real time, I will be sharing more of this process with paid subscribers. I think I need the accountability, honestly. And I feel like this is what I do. I share the journey I’m on, and somehow it just keeps getting richer with time. Why stop now?

Thank you to all of the 86,523 of you that are here for the ride. I am so grateful that you take the time to read!!

- Nathaniel

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The next live zoom hangout for paid subscribers will be taking place on June 23rd, at 7pm Paris time (1pm EST and 10am PST). I’ll send a link out 24 hours before.